I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
