why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
