I'm pants shitting drunk right now
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
not ubering you a puppy
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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