i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
