absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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