Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
