your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
