we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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