i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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