alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
