I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
