after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
