She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
