There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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