I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
