I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
