If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
