Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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