It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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