We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
