Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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