i just had sex bonerless
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
