I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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