Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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