Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
