You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
