Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
