Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
