Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
4 words: hood of his car
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
