She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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