The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
