dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
