once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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