I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
