you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
