Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
