I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
