One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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