Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
