dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
