New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
