just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
