Who did Billy Mays play for?
you would pick up someone in the library
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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