I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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