i just google imaged poop.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
