dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
