So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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