I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
