my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
