I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
